My name is Helen Philpot. I am 82 years old.  My grandson taught me how to do this so that I could "blog" with my best friend Margaret Schmechtman who I met in college almost 60 years ago.  I have three children with my husband Harold.  Margaret has three dogs with her husband Howard.  I live in Texas and Margaret lives in Maine.

Are you for real?
Why is that so hard to believe?  Now I know what Santa Claus must feel like.

Have you really been friends for 60 years?Some friendships last a lifetime.  We just seem to be living a hell of a long time.

Is this a fake blog?We got a few scary emails when I first wrote about Sarah Palin so my grandson told me to change our last names on the web page blog.   Philpot was my grandmother's maiden name and Schmechtman is actually the name of a bird Margaret keeps as a pet.  That bird shits on everything, but she loves him.

Why doesn't Margaret write more?
She prefers to pick up the phone and call.  I guess I am more the writer, but she is a wonderful artist.   I have some of her paintings in my house.  My grandchildren set me up on this computer, but Margaret always has problems getting on the Internet and says it is too slow.  Maybe it is a Maine thing.  She reads all of the comments and calls me when she sees a comment that she wants to talk about.  Sometimes she offers witty lines that I add to my stories.

Is Margaret a Republican?
Her husband is.

Why did you go so long between blogs before now?
Actually we had several more things on the web page but when it began to get popular my grandson suggested that we take them off because they were personal between me and Margaret.  I sometimes write short stories and would put them on here for Margaret to read.  Some of it was racy.  Much of it was just nonsense.

Will you keep doing this after the election?Yes, but I don't know if everyone will keep coming back.  Margaret and I think it would be fun to answer some of your questions.  There are lots of idiots out there who aren't running for office, but don't get me started on that shit for brains Elisabeth from The View.

Why do you use foul language?
It makes me laugh.  Some of the best words in the world are bullshit and ass.  I don't use bitch very much, but the shoe seemed to fit this occasion.  My grandson says it makes me cool.  Margaret hardly ever cusses.

Are comments moderated?
Not really.  My grandson has been known to remove some remarks and has even banned a few bad apples from future comments.   Margaret and I think some of you are a hoot and we think others are full of bullshit.  But all are welcome - within reason - and considering some of my rants, within reason goes a long way in my book.  The f-word (you decide which one) gets you an automatic kick in the ass.  Same goes for the N word.

How can we reach you?My grandson set up an email that we can check when we have time.  You can send us a message there, but we can't promise that we will answer all of them.  bighelenskitchen@yahoo.com